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Only the commander knows the recruits potential

by Joseph Kachitsa NSJ 

From The Companion - Xavier House Novitiate Newsletter (Zambia - Malawi Province)

pix antsSitting outside my praetorium some 15 kilometers outside Monze Township something unusual caught my eyes. A thick black ants' line was advancing towards the eastern direction with a very big guy in front of it and another at the very end. The parade was in a perfect defence formation.

Those carrying some goods, which I thought to be eggs and the young ones, were confidently enjoying the safety of the living walls provided by the big guys.

As I stood in awesome admiration of this breathing fortress, one ant caught my attention. As the parade was heading eastwards, this one guy seemed to be in his own world, he was heading towards the southern direction. If it was not for its agonizing sting and terrible smell, I would have put it back in the parade. Then the confused character made its way into the domain of another species of ants. With his size and strength, he managed to drive the proprietors out of their comfort zone. Meanwhile, the parade continued its march and did not seem to be bothered by this confused chap who was busy waging war.

The following day when the fiery sun was making its way above the horizon and as I was opening my curtains, behold; the whole clan had come back and made its dwelling outside my distinguished shelter. The confused chap who was waging war the previous day was some sort of commando missioned by his king to find a new dwelling place for his clan. The time he looked confused he was actually conducting surveillance and fulfilling the will of his king.

Each day for the three days that the clan was outside my residence, they would take out the "eggs" and warm them in the sun. Curious on how far they would protect these eggs, I used my umbrella to poke those ants that were guarding the eggs and there was great commotion in the little ant world.

3/4 of the clan was dispersed to guard the perimeter while the other 1/4 hurriedly took the eggs back into the hole. 60mins later I went out to check on them and behold they were on the move to their new residence. They no longer felt secure at their recently obtained domain. The spiritual exercises made me realize how God puts me in the state of the confused ant. Unlike this heroic ant which probably at every stage knew what it was doing, it took me a period of 30 days of silence and prayer to realize that God has something to do with each and every experience that I undergo.

The experience gave me a chance to understand that the divine majesty works in ways that my human mind cannot understand. Casting a reflective glance at my entire life in the atmosphere of the exercises, all I would say was a heartfelt 'thank you' to the Lord. I came to understand that at each and every point of my life, in each and every situation I find myself in, I do fulfill God's will for my life at that particular point in time.

Just like the ant looked confused in my eyes and yet it was fulfilling its mission, my life at times might seem to be losing a sense of direction and yet the exercises confirmed to me that I am fulfilling God's will for his Glory and the salvation of my soul. Whatever the purpose of the experience might be, it's not my business to know. Thus annotation 22 taught me to cast a positive glance at each and every situation I encounter. Just as the king that missioned that particular ant had trust in it that it would fulfill that mission for which it was sent, so God who accepts me the way I' am has trust in me that whatever situation he puts me in, I will pull through.

The exercises taught me that if God has trust in me, who am I to doubt myself? No one knows my potential but the almighty God, all I have to do is trust.

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